THE QUANTUM SANTA

Around the newsroom we hear rumors about a lot of things. Many of the rumors are just rumors while others wind up being true. However the task of taking a rumor and unveiling it as a fact is sometimes daunting. You want to make sure that you do not give out information before you are confident that the information is true. Sometimes though a rumor is harmless and if it is reported in context can be intriguing.
A few days ago there was a rumor that the large Hadron Collider at CERN was about to announce that they had found the Higgs Boson or the “God particle.” My roommate Dustin had turned me on to an article that he read while on a business trip in Canada about the particle and how it has been elusive to scientists. There was a also a story that was reported and then was immediately silenced about a man who was arrested at the site. The man was an alleged time traveler.

His name was Eloi Cole and he was dressed in bright colors and wore a tie that was fluorescent. Cole told authorities that he had traveled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.
Mr. Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him digging through the garbage at the facility. Authorities reported that he would not reveal his country of origin. Cole had reported that in his time line that there is a world government and that there are no countries or borders.
The fascinating thing about this story is that it was first reported in April and that it was written off as an April fool’s jokeundefined But it wasn’t, the incident really happened. It was unfortunate that Mr. Cole appeared at the facility on that date and so no one dared to report the story because they didn’t want to be fooled.
The April Foolundefinedsundefined timing was first thought to be a cover, a red herring planted by CERN authorities. The motive was believed to distract everyone from the terrifying story that the LHC was secretly creating black holes that could destroy the planet.
We also know that CERN authorities were upset last year when the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so undefinedabhorrentundefined that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery. The theory was that by some strange occurrence there was a reverse or retro causal effect and that time was somehow stopping the process of finding the Higgs Boson.
Well here is where it gets weird. Eloi cole is arrested and taken away to a holding cell where he tells the police that his real name is not Eloi coleundefined but Arthur Dent. Needles to say the man is taken to a mental institution in Geneva and then disappears. Never to be seen again.
If this is a real story CERN went to great pains to get it out to the public and then it got more and more crazy almost to the point of being written off as a hoax. Logic says that yes the story was faked, but the motive is still as elusive as the God particle. The timing of the story’s first release and the story that continues to get more outrageous may have some basis in truth, however disinformation and timing can really ruin and investigation especially when you are limited in getting the real story.
It is an experiment in naive logistics similar in part to Curry’s paradox that indicates in form that proving a conditional sentence is to assume that the hypothesis. If these findings are true—then anything can happen. If the story is true then a time traveler was at CERN. If a baby is born, then God has to exist. Do you understand? The thought in existence creates that possibility. In the ether it sits and it becomes a Tulpa. a thought or a form to manifest in reality – a legend in the making. Naïve logic – it is an amazing starting point for legends and myths.
If this sentence is true then Santa Claus exists.
In a strange turn of synchronicity the timing of another story has me glued to my computer reading about the quantum universe. The rumors again are swarming about the Large Hadron Collider at CERN and the finding of the God particle. The new media generated meme in the zeitgeist about the particle is that it is as hard to find as Santa Claus—thus some people are now calling it the Santa Claus particle for lack of a better metaphor.
The Santa Claus metaphor would mean nothing to most people but to me it struck me as rather odd considering a meeting I had with physicist Stephen Hawking. Hawking spoke to a crowd at the University of Utah in the 1990’s and I happened to know someone who knew his assistant while he was staying in Utah. Upon meeting Hawking I was a little nervous about telling him what I did for a living. I told him I worked in the media and that I was a talk show host and news reporter. He asked me what kind of topics I covered and I told him I talked about aliens and Conspiracy theories. He was not at all critical of my interest in such things and spoke to me about all kinds of possibilities in the Universe.
He brought up Santa Claus as a model for things that are credulous. However he did make it clear that he was very serious about the issue. He said that in the ether that both Santa and Mickey Mouse can be very real and to a child -the thought is a very powerful agent. Santa Claus is impossible using classical physics, but in a quantum sense Santa can be very real.
I was completely beside myself, here I was in the presence of a genius and all we could discuss is possible proof of Santa Claus.
With the usage of paralleled processing it can be theorized Santa has the ability to do the job he is said to do simultaneously. It is done in the same manner as sending an e-mail to multiple recipients at the same time. Years ago this was unthinkable, today in a split second you can deliver an e-mail to millions of people simultaneously without even having to leave your chair. How can anyone track the speed of that? The possibility to us is limited to the technological practice we take for granted.
There are fewer varieties of toys in the world than e-mail recipients and yet we can’t wrap our minds around the fact that in some future time line the simultaneous appearance of matter cannot be accomplished and yet an e-mail is a thought electronically sent and it is very possible that people in all time zones can receive it.
Fax machines a rarely used today, but there is an argument that can be made about one piece of paper being inserted in a machine in one place and having millions of copies coming out in offices all over the world received by people.
Now, if the next logical leap of science is to take that knowledge of parallel processing and bring it out of the computer and into our material world we can now see that the old traditional Santa Claus model is flawed but the new scientific progress can make the new Santa hypothesis closer to reality.
You don’t even need to bring up Santa Claus to point out a possible quantum leap scenario – there is actually one in the bible. That is if you believe that bible.
In the third chapter of Daniel we remember the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. They were sent to a fiery furnace by King Nebuchadnezzar II, of Babylon. The account states that the men entered the furnace, but while inside they were not consumed. Later a fourth man walks out with them and the king is astonished. The biblical account says that it had to be an angel. However does it have to be in our now quantum world?
The account is that the men entered the furnace and disappeared only to appear again with another man. Where did they go, and who was the other man who was with them? Could they have been sent through a Stargate and returned with someone from another time? Before you laugh at me and think I am crazy keep in mind that Saddam Hussein had declared to the world that he was really King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon.
Long before his death he spent over $500 million during the 1980s on the reconstruction and the re-establishment of ancient Babylon, the capitol of Nebuchadnezzar. Over sixty million bricks have been made to place in the walls of Babylon, each engraved with the inscription, “To King Nebuchadnezzar in the reign of Saddam Hussein”.
So could it be that even in the bible we read of a Stargate or portal similar to the Atlas at CERN capable of opening a wormhole and allowing the passing of people from other dimensions into this world?
I think I saw something similar in a Star Trek episode except instead of an angel coming out of the transporter it was Abraham Lincoln!
It could have been Mickey Mouse or Santa Claus using the amazing insight that was given to me by Hawking.
Furthermore Hawking had said that due to the fact that no one knows where Santa is at a particular moment in time makes him a perfect candidate for some elementary use of Heisenberg’s principle of uncertainty. Santa is “smeared out” over the entire earth on Christmas Eve.
There is no way to be precise with the location of Santa. This is why Norad’s claim of tracking him is a lie that has been perpetrated by the government in order to control the information about Santa’s quantum nature. Of course the smearing of Santa is similar to the manner in which an electron is undefinedsmeared outundefined within a certain distance from the nucleus in an atom. Thus he can, quite literally, be everywhere at any given moment.
Another mind boggling theory is that there are also possibilities that Santa is entirely capable of arriving before he even leaves the North Pole. It would be possible to see two images of him and then he would take on the characteristics of tachyon particles.
Because a tachyon always moves faster than light, we cannot see it approaching. After a tachyon has passed nearby, we would be able to see two images of it, appearing and departing in opposite directions. Yes it is all hypothetical but so are Black holes –well they are still debating their purpose and whether or not they reveal anything about time and space.
So why is this all important to know? I suppose in the big picture it won’t change much. If you don’t believe in Santa Claus, that is okay- but I had to point out that the traditional Santa story is as believable as the arrival of aliens in a space ship.
The chariots of fire, the fiery vehicles and their characteristics are described in ways that the ancients could explain. A sleigh flying in the night, with reindeer and a bright light is a simple explanation of any visitation from an extra-terrestrial craft and once again we must address the issue of naive logic and the description of miraculous science that is interpreted as magical flights of fancy.
Yes, I have to admit, for credibility’s sake that part of this theory is mental expansion on my part and dot connecting that may or may not make you wonder if Santa can be proven using dime store scientific bending of the rules, but even the astronauts saw Santa Claus – or perhaps an alien space ship flying over the moon.
On December 25th, 1968 just moments after the Apollo 8 Command module cleared the radio shadow of the Dark side of the moon Astronaut Jim Lovell said “Please be advised there is a Santa Claus.” There was another voice that said afterwards “That is affirmative.”
This has been repeatedly cited on conspiracy theory blogs and forums as evidence that Lovell sighted an alien craft during the orbit. Maybe he did – maybe he didn’t.
Lovell later stated in an interview that he said it because it reminded him of the story of the little girl Virginia who wrote to a newspaper editor and his reply that all the good in the world has to be proof of a Santa Claus. He just passed the Dark side of the moon which he thought was fascinating and Magical so all he could think of is that there is a Santa Claus.
The most wonderful thing of all is that back then that is all that was needed to believe in Santa, aliens even God.
Now it seems believing in magic has to have some science to back it up. Well we live in magical times and science is learning more and more about magic and how it can be used to create a better world, even in the face of those who want to use magic for ill will and war.
As I perused the Atlas website located at CERN, I noticed that somewhere hidden in all of their scientific jargon is a little something called the “Santa Claus Agent”. I haven’t been able to figure out what it all means. However the timing is right and the world could be surprised in the New Year with some announcement about our place in time. It could be an announcement that CERN has achieved their goal of finding the God particle.
Once again at this time of year I decide that I can use my naive logic without shame. I can dream of magical things, miracles and love.
If this research is true then Santa Claus exists.